It’s all types of instability-

diapirs on cantaloupe terrain
and lunar phasings of the moment.
what’s the word, hummingbird? 
it’s the triptych: Rat’s call the holy demon,
son of sky,father moon,ghost of ocean’s argot.
It’s all big tickle, these chrome- plated girls
these storming machines who say
come on snakes, let’s rattle!
you’d better watch your salt tectonics

before you undercut the politics.

-Caroline Preziosi

Cleveland, a science fiction short play set in Ohio’s second largest city, explores the malady of suburban living. The play is funny, laconic, celestial, and absurd. Think David Lynch meets The Coneheads. The play, written by Mac Wellman, tells the story of a widowed mother’s fear that her daughter may not be fashionable enough to find a date for the prom. I went to senior prom with my high school sweetheart. Then, a year later, I went to prom with a close friend and won a dirt bike in the schools casino themed raffle. So yeah, I was prom king twice– you can suck an egg Jake Ryan!  Being in this iteration of Cleveland, produced by the Psychic Reading’s Late Night Theater Series has been an awesome process with some super cool friends and artists. Let’s meet them:

Carly Bales, Director: 

Have you ever been to Cleveland?

This is a play for only grown, sexy, and insane folks. Hope you can join me.

Cleveland Steamers, for or against?

I’m not gonna hate on the game, but, against. Yeah, they’re silly.


Uh huh.

Cricket Arrison, Mother:

When you hear the word Cleveland, what comes to mind?


Cleveland Steamers, for or against?

I might give a Cleveland Steamer, if I can leave right after.

Johnathan Jacobs, Losin’ Susan:

When was the last time the Cleveland Indians went to the World Series?

The late 90’s . . .It was 1997.

Who did they play?

They beat the Bronx Bombers.

Cleveland Steamer. Ever have one?


Dutch Oven?

Yeah, I think so.

Puerto Rican Lollipop?

I’m almost positive I have not.

Montreal Screw Job?

Vince McMahon?

Caroline Preziosi, Marta:

Ever been to Cleveland?

Yeah, I stayed within a five block radius of my friend’s house, so I didn’t see much while I was there. It was very relaxing.

Cleveland Steamers?

No opinion.

Would you give one?

I’m not against them, but, no.

What’s the other B in Air B&B?

It’s breakfast.

Martin Kasey, Panda Hands:

What do you know of Johnny “Football” Manziel?

He’s a football man.

Have you ever been to Cleveland?

I may have been to Cleveland, I can’t remember.

Cleveland Steamers, for or against them?

I don’t know what they are?

(I explain what a Cleveland Steamer is.)

Well, I guess that’s not for me, but, I don’t judge the Cleveland Steamer. Not for me.

As far as giving or receiving?

I don’t think I feel the need to give or receive it.

Madison, Joan:

Cleveland, What state is it in?

. . . O . . .hi . . .o?

Cleveland Steamers?

I’m for them happening to other people.

Do you inform the person or do you just try and sneak a Cleveland Steamer in there?

No, you definitely don’t sneak it in there!

What if the person wanted to give themselves a Cleveland Steamer?

That would be really impressive. I think I would stay and watch that. You have 20 minutes.

Sarah Jacqueline, Grizelda:

Kenny Lofton?

I can’t really speak with authority on Kenny Lofton.

He stole a lot of bases.

I know. I know!

Cleveland Steamers?

So, my friend, the first time she slept with a guy, recently, he just peed in her bed. Peed in her bed! She went on a second date with him!

Did he pee in her bed again?


Evan Moritz, The Man With the Wand:

This play,Cleveland . . .


What is it about?

It’s about, like, Sailor Moon girls and Babysitters Club stuff. It sorta reminds me of Sailor Moon and Babysitters club stuff, at the same time.

It also reminds me of Adventures in Babysitting?

Oh, yeah, Adventures in Babysitting.

What comes to mind when you hear the name Bernie Kosar?

Bernie Kosar: alien.

That works, because in the movie I am Number 4, there is a dog named Bernie Kosar and it turns out that the dog is an alien. Did you see I am Number 4?


Cleveland Steamers?

Uh, I’m for em.

Rick Royer, Mayor of Cleveland:

Bernie Kosar?

Bernie Kosar was a quarterback for the Miami Hurricanes, drafted first round, for the Cleveland Browns.


Psychic Readings Company’s LATE NIGHT THEATRE SERIES Presents…CLEVELAND by Mac Wellman | Directed by Carly J. Bales. Tickets are $10, $8 if you dress for the prom.reserve tickets ahead of time for this Thursday – Sunday at 10PM. HOW DO I DO THAT? Email to reserve your tickets.